Apologies - all will be explained about this blank post any my recent absence in time

Four Lions (2010)

This is a FUCKING FANTASTICALLY SHIT YOUR PANTS FUNNY FILM! Genius! Not much more needs to be said perhaps apart from if you haven't seen it then make that the next thing you do starting from NOW!

Faultless script, brilliantly directed, brilliantly acted, definately worth the entrance fee.

However, the Colonel can only give this 5 terrorist Crows out of 5.

Barrymore's Back!

Let's face it, he never went away. He has always been a comic genius but now he's bat shit mad, he's only got better. Admitted, there were bad shows like 'My Kind of people' and 'My Kind of Music' etc but he was always a great performer and a massive comic talent.

His latest appearance on 'Come Dine With Me' was wet your pants funny only aided by the morons he was on with. Fun House's Pat Sharp is clearly always fun in his mind and he was a great straight man to Barrymore's maddness, if only he'd go back on the booze the possibilities would be endless.

Despite this, it should be noted that if he asks you for a swim, it's always best to decline.

GET LOST!

This post refers to the entire Lost series. You set of bastards! What a waste of my time! Having quite enjoyed the first and second season, i felt like i had to see it through to the end despite being bored and finding it all stupid. The final four seasons could have been done in one, and even then it wasn't worth it because you answered nothing. You copped out! You took an easy route and still didn't explain about 85% of the rest of the nonsense. I am enquiring as to whether it is worth claiming through the courts for loss of time and if it is then the campaign starts here. We could go to Watchdog with this. For a full explanation of Lost, see this video:

Junior Apprentice Episode 3

What a bunch of cocks.

At least this Child is very good:

Muppet Babies - Junior Apprentice Episode 2

I hate all of these twats. I think i've realised why i like to watch the programme though, it is cheaper than anger management. An hour per week shouting abuse at children gets rid of the rage of the week, it is worth a try for those that haven't. There is nothing better than shouting 'I would happily piss in your eye sockets you fucking set of bastards' to arrogant twats who deserve everything that's coming to them. In fact, shouting at kids sounds like my retirement plan, shouting 'get out of my garden you scrotal bastard' to an unruly child sounds like what i'll be doing as soon as I get my stick (walking).

The episode was about selling camping equipment, they are all twats, that's all you need to know.

What's the Beef?

Stourton man accused of killing wife in row over overcooked beef

A STOURTON man is on trial accused of killing his wife during a row over how she had cooked the roast beef for his birthday dinner. Warwick Crown Court heard Jonathan Wicks complained that his wife Sarah had overcooked the beef and that triggered a row. He says he was acting in self-defence when he struck his wife after she had thrown plates at him.

“The act was a punch or a slap, but we say it was unlawful and it was violent, and he had no lawful reason to do it.” The dinner party was held to celebrate Wick’s birthday, one guest described their hosts as ‘a devoted loving couple,’ but said they could be cantankerous with each-other although nothing which could be described as vicious. The court heard how Sarah prepared roast beef, and during the meal there was some upset between them.

Wicks complained the meat had been overcooked, which upset Sarah, on top of which she had bought him a present he was planning to take back. Within half an hour of the guests leaving, Wicks made a 999 call. “It is likely he struck his wife moments after the last guest left because he said in the 999 call his wife had stopped breathing and was on the floor.”

When paramedics arrived Sarah was on her back on the kitchen floor, with broken plates on the floor and Wicks crouched down opposite the door He pleaded with them to do something to help her, and said: “What have I done? I’ve killed her. I hit her.” Mr Burbidge told the jury he had panicked and had driven away to Long Compton for about 20 minutes and then returned. He continued: “She was throwing plates at me and I hit her. Oh my God, what have I done? “It should be me lying there. Just hit me with a blunt object.” The trial continues.

It is a crime to eat overcooked roast beef.