GET LOST!

This post refers to the entire Lost series. You set of bastards! What a waste of my time! Having quite enjoyed the first and second season, i felt like i had to see it through to the end despite being bored and finding it all stupid. The final four seasons could have been done in one, and even then it wasn't worth it because you answered nothing. You copped out! You took an easy route and still didn't explain about 85% of the rest of the nonsense. I am enquiring as to whether it is worth claiming through the courts for loss of time and if it is then the campaign starts here. We could go to Watchdog with this. For a full explanation of Lost, see this video:

Junior Apprentice Episode 3

What a bunch of cocks.

At least this Child is very good:

Muppet Babies - Junior Apprentice Episode 2

I hate all of these twats. I think i've realised why i like to watch the programme though, it is cheaper than anger management. An hour per week shouting abuse at children gets rid of the rage of the week, it is worth a try for those that haven't. There is nothing better than shouting 'I would happily piss in your eye sockets you fucking set of bastards' to arrogant twats who deserve everything that's coming to them. In fact, shouting at kids sounds like my retirement plan, shouting 'get out of my garden you scrotal bastard' to an unruly child sounds like what i'll be doing as soon as I get my stick (walking).

The episode was about selling camping equipment, they are all twats, that's all you need to know.

What's the Beef?

Stourton man accused of killing wife in row over overcooked beef

A STOURTON man is on trial accused of killing his wife during a row over how she had cooked the roast beef for his birthday dinner. Warwick Crown Court heard Jonathan Wicks complained that his wife Sarah had overcooked the beef and that triggered a row. He says he was acting in self-defence when he struck his wife after she had thrown plates at him.

“The act was a punch or a slap, but we say it was unlawful and it was violent, and he had no lawful reason to do it.” The dinner party was held to celebrate Wick’s birthday, one guest described their hosts as ‘a devoted loving couple,’ but said they could be cantankerous with each-other although nothing which could be described as vicious. The court heard how Sarah prepared roast beef, and during the meal there was some upset between them.

Wicks complained the meat had been overcooked, which upset Sarah, on top of which she had bought him a present he was planning to take back. Within half an hour of the guests leaving, Wicks made a 999 call. “It is likely he struck his wife moments after the last guest left because he said in the 999 call his wife had stopped breathing and was on the floor.”

When paramedics arrived Sarah was on her back on the kitchen floor, with broken plates on the floor and Wicks crouched down opposite the door He pleaded with them to do something to help her, and said: “What have I done? I’ve killed her. I hit her.” Mr Burbidge told the jury he had panicked and had driven away to Long Compton for about 20 minutes and then returned. He continued: “She was throwing plates at me and I hit her. Oh my God, what have I done? “It should be me lying there. Just hit me with a blunt object.” The trial continues.

It is a crime to eat overcooked roast beef.

Fat Chance

Photo of vomiting woman removed from Leamington show

A photograph showing an obese woman vomiting has been removed from an art exhibition in Warwickshire after people complained that it was offensive. The thumbnail-sized image taken from the internet formed part of an obesity art exhibition at the Bath Place Community Venture in Leamington Spa.

John Yeadon, who brought the collection together, said he was being censored. Mr Yeadon, a former fine arts lecturer at Coventry University, said: "There was no discussion on this, the work was just removed, censored and then nobody came to explain why."

The four removed images include a picture of an obese, naked man sitting at a computer, another obese, naked man whose skin overhangs the chair he is sitting on, a photo of an obese woman vomiting and another photo of an obese, naked woman eating cake. Mr Yeadon said he found the pictures while browsing online and decided to include them in his exhibition next to photos of fast food. The collection, which is called, Fat: The mortality of the eater and the eaten, also includes blown-up images of fatty foods and the last meals of convicted US murderers that have been half eaten.

Mr Yeadon was browsing for what exactly? Did Mr Yeadon have the snake unleashed at the time. Dirty Mr Yeadon! This photo is dedicated to you.

Oh Dear

Coventry City name Aidy Boothroyd of Colchester United as new manager

Coventry City have confirmed Aidy Boothroyd as their new manager, with the 39-year-old signing a three-year contract at the Ricoh Arena.

Colchester United gave Boothroyd permission to speak to the Sky Blues earlier this week and duly agreed compensation with the Championship club before negotiations had been completed between the manager and his prospective new employers.

But that deal has now been finalised and the former Watford manager has officially succeeded Chris Coleman, who was sacked shortly after City finished 19th, having endured a sorry late slump for the second campaign running.

Ray Ranson, the former Manchester City defender who is Coventry chairman, hopes Boothroyd can follow his achievements at Vicarage Road and be the man to take Coventry back to the Premier League, from where they were relegated in 2001.

Coventry's Big Mistake

Colchester boss Boothroyd set for Coventry City talks

Boothroyd led Watford to the Premier League in 2006 Coventry City have been given permission to speak to Colchester United boss Aidy Boothroyd over their managerial vacancy. The clubs have agreed a compensation fee for the ex-Watford boss, 39, who took over at Colchester in September. Notts County manager Steve Cotterill was believed to have turned down the Sky Blues job earlier on Wednesday. City need a new manager after sacking Chris Coleman following their 19th placed finish in the Championship. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Iron Man 2 (2010)

This has to rate very high in special effects alone, the scene in Monaco on the race track was brilliantly done and exhilarating to watch. The action was good and was pleasing to the eye as long as you could accept that in the film world, the human body can easily survive the amount of shuddering and impact equal to being hit with a cannonball in the testicles.

The cast was good as were the performances, particularly from Mickey Rourke who looks like he could be a good replacement joker for the late Heath Ledger in Batman. Accents aside (which to someone who doesn't know any Russians was just fine) Rouke stood out by a mile but the placement of Sam Rockwell and Jon Favreau himself in slightly tongue in cheek roles worked very well.

One possible criticism would be the under-use of Samuel L Jackson but this has only made sure that he will be appearing in future instalments of the franchise. Other than that, the film was very entertaining, however, the Colonel can only give this 4 rams in the stomache by a Rolls Royce out of 5.

The Christians Aren't Really Christians

On the drive home from work today (enjoying it whilst it lasts), I heard a song on the radio which sounded like 'Harvest for the World' by The Christians. It suddenly occurred to me, are they Christian and why have i never thought of it before?

I have since discovered that the band name comes from the surname of the brothers originally in the band (there was also a band member called Priestman but i don't know if this affected the decision). I still don't know if the Christians are really Christians so all i have managed to do is answer a different question.

This has distracted me temporarily though from the impending doom which surrounds Colonelville at present and so has served a valuable purpose. If anyone knows the Christians and knows if they are big fans of those God and Jesus fellas then don't email me, I'm not bothered anymore. I have moved onto what about if you could answer whatever question you wanted when asked.

15 to 1 would be even better if when William G Stewart said:

"From the French for re-birth, what term is used to describe the revival of Art and Literature in Europe from the 14th to the 16th Centuries?"

I could reply

"Cock-sucking"

Junior Apprentice (BBC 12/5/10)

I didn't know what to think about this when it first started, it's almost a guilt inside that says, 'you can't hate them, they are children'. Common sense then intervenes and says what a bunch of posh twats. It's true that they deserve everything they get if they are signing up for this and that their parents are not very responsible for putting them in the firing line (no pun intended). These children, despite managing to earn money through various ventures are not developed enough to be told that they are no good or they are rubbish at that. Whilst i was a young fawn, i remember that feeling and it's not easy to take so national tv exposure won't help things along.

These children in the majority of cases have probably been set up by their parents wealth and so perhaps don't know the value of money yet. However, i'm quite happy for them to piss old man Sugar's money down the drain. I'm starting to wonder does he take an interest in these kids and others like them for the same reason that Father Christmas wants you to sit on his knee or that Catholic Priests enjoy singing? He's probably one to watch and the authorities are probably already aware of the pest.

Despite this though, i will be sticking with it for now as i can't help but be entertained by it. I'll also be still hating Zoe Plummer,

and rooting for Adam Eliaz,

however this is only temporary...in fact i've already changed my mind, they are all twats.

I still enjoy this video though:

Unemployment Eased by Porn

Webcam porn work advertised at Warwickshire Jobcentres

TEENAGE girls in Warwickshire are being offered the chance to become porn stars – by a firm advertising in
official Jobcentres.
A website is using branches of JobCentre Plus in Warwickshire, Birmingham and Solihull to hunt for “barely legal girls” who are prepared to take their clothes off and talk about sex with total strangers.
The smutty advert – described as a “job with a difference” – has stunned some unemployed visitors to Jobcentre Plus.
A 19-year-old from Nuneaton, who asked not to be named, said: “My job in a call centre is a fixed-term contract that’s coming to an end so I’m desperate for work. But I’m not so desperate that I’m prepared to perform disgusting acts on an internet sex line.”
Another 23-year-old from Birmingham said: “Is it really the role of Jobcentre Plus to be advertising for people willing to be naked for the purposes of adult entertainment?”
The statement on the firm’s website, www.faceclick.co.uk, says: “This is simple really, all we ask is that you will be comfortable with and willing to discuss a numinous amount of subjects with our customers from the seemingly mundane to the more sexual and explicit nature.
“You need to be 18 and provide us with proof of ID and live in the UK.”
They are also looking for men and couples.
Workers are expected to spend 20 hours a week online – potentially earning around £400 a week
The Department for Work and Pensions defended the advert, insisting it had no right to withdraw it. A West Midlands DWP spokeswoman said: “If a vacancy is legal then Jobcentre Plus has to advertise it.
"However, adult entertainment jobs are clearly marked that applicants must be aged 18 or over. Our staff do not actively promote these vacancies to our customers, it would be up to them to express an interest in applying and to ask for further information.”
Seven years ago, Jobcentre Plus lost a legal battle when it tried to refuse advertising jobs in the adult entertainment industry.
No comment was available from the company.

With redundancy looming over the horizon, i'm seriously considering this...I am on a diet you know.

Paul Daley Cut From UFC

Paul Daley has been cut for this love tap which the Colonel believes to be quality. If you're going to smack someone in the face, the best thing to do is tap them on the shoulder and wait until they are a sitting duck. This was another mediocre night for the UFC again in the end as Kimbo couldn't last more then a couple of steps without being puffed out and Josh Koscheck just laying on top of Daley for three rounds making their draw fights under par.

The main event was better and Shogan Rua got the chance to show that he should have won the first fight with a quality knock out and he looks like he may be difficult to beat but certainly not invincible. I think a rematch with Rampage 'Mr T' Jackson would prove to be a massive test.

The fights on the bottom of the card fared a lot better with Belcher fight and the Stephens fight both being out of the top drawer. There is nothing better for a fight fan then to see to men slugging it out with neither giving in.

The UFC has got to hope that future cards can stand up before the big pull og UFC116 and the return of Brock. Only time will tell.

David Cameron Becomes Prime Minister

Ok, i think we're all doomed here.

Changes

The Colonel shall no longer be treating this blog as a review of various things, from now on anything goes. This is not to say that there will be no more reviews because they will regularly appear but the Colonel is bored of being restricted. The wild beast shall be tamed no longer, the shakles are off and running free shall commence. Also while we're at it, I shall not be always be restricting myself and will commence writing in whatever person i like. Grammar is no barrier to the Colonel.